The marketing of Malcolm

By Action Words associate writer, Cassandra Allen

It was really only a matter of time. Although they’re still a party divided, Malcolm did prevail at this week’s Liberal leadership spill with a healthy majority.

So with an undeniable victory over Tony Abbott for the Prime Ministership, how hard will it be to market Malcolm?

Let’s take a look at Malcolm in the mix.


Probably the strongest thing going for this product is that it’s not Tony Abbott. Plus, this PM has vastly superior features to the last model. These include:

  • he’s a good-looking bloke – and handsome wins votes; #hotmalcolm appears on Twitter and @hotmalcolm has almost 3500 followers on Instagram
  • the ability to string more than three words into a sensible sentence
  • economic credibility
  • no weird raw vegetable fetishes
  • a hearty laugh that doesn’t clear the room.

OK, the product looks good for market.


Let’s be honest – Malcolm is not shy. Malcolm is a self-promoter. Even his 1980 report card in the second year of his Rhodes Scholarship stated:

“He is less of a know-all than when he arrived but he is always going to enter rooms without knocking.”

Opposition Leader Bill Shorten calls him a “showman” and told the Labor caucus on Tuesday, “the thing about Malcolm is it’s always about Malcolm.”

I don’t think promotion will be an issue.


Purchase price for the new PM is the same as the old. But the new walks and talks faster, so he represents better value for money. And we’ll be ahead if the new is fit for purpose and can actually govern.


No worries here, either. He’ll be available everywhere. Unlike his predecessor, he’ll be a regular on the ABC’s Q&A and radio programs. The doorstop interview will return to vogue so he can weave his narrative to the people. And given his penchant for public transport, you might find yourself quite literally, on the same train as Malcolm.

Bus, train or tram, Malcolm’s the man. No chopper required.

My prediction is this new model Prime Minster will be eagerly embraced by a slogan-weary, disenchanted electorate. We’re unlikely to see a product recall any time soon.